Heard About Town By Vic Parker

It’s not all Obama’s fault, but it certainly happened on his watch … actually it’s just mostly his fault. On Oct. 3, the total federal debt accumulated during his presidency topped $9 trillion for the first time. When George W. Bush took office, the total debt was about $5.7 trillion, and it increased to about $10.6 million by the time he left office. In the interim, the debt had grown to about $19.6 trillion as of Sept. 30, the last day of fiscal 2016. To put it in easier-to-understand terms, the amount the debt increased under Obama equals more than $76,000 per household.

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He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past, without fail. On the 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high, with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally during one dance, he picked up courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes…. yes I will!” Needless to say, the evening ended on a happy note for the widower. However, the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes” or did she say “No?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over-and-over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question, but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No?’” “Why you silly man,” she replied, “I said ‘Yes. Yes I will!’ And I meant it with all my heart.” The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. “And I’m so glad you called, because I couldn’t remember who asked me.”

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More from the Redneck Book of Manners … A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are. Waking the children to come out so you can show guests “they ain’t got no birth defects” is impolite. (And bringing them out to show guests that they do have them is considered very rude.) As for dating (outside the family) … Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10 p.m. Others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time. At marriage ceremonies … Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get you shot…

(To continue reading this article, please contact us today for a print or email subscription to the Jefferson Jimplecute! — (903) 665-2462, JIMPLECUTE1848@GMAIL.COM)

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