Heard About Town by Vic Parker

As a journalist, I have the utmost respect for the First Amendment and all the freedoms it addresses, not the least of which is free speech. That doesn’t keep me from being critical of San Francisco Forty Nine quarterback Colin Kaepernik and his antics regarding the “Star Spangled Banner.” I find it difficult to understand how a man – who identifies as black – can complain of oppression when he makes $12 million a year. If he feels so deeply about his cause, he should just endorse those checks and send them along to whatever organization addresses the oppression of blacks. That would make a much better statement than kneeling on the sidelines while the Anthem is played. The National Anthem has nothing to do with race or oppression; it has to do with a song penned as Americans fought for freedom during the War of 1812.
It’s a well-known fact that I love puns, even though they’re considered the lowest form of humor. Here we go: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down. Darth Vader knew what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas, because he felt his presents. I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s not her main present, just a stocking stuffer. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks. Ban singing in football stadiums? No chants. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember. I saw a kidnapping today, but I decided not to wake him up. I have a job crushing pop cans. It’s soda pressing. Laugh or groan, I’ll take either one.
I’ve been covering high school football for about 40 years, and I’ve never even heard of a game like the one last Friday between Ore City and T.K. Gorman of Tyler…

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